Overview: Every so often, I get around to reviewing something more to point out that it is NOT cyberpunk. I intended this category for movies like New Rose Hotel - while Gibson’s short story is top-notch, awesome cyberpunk, the movie of the same name is an unmitigated non-cyberpunk mess. The other reason I review a non-cyberpunk movie is because even though the movie packaging or description may indicate some cyber elements, movies in this category are going for deceptive advertising to sell their flick. Some erotic spoofs of popular movies are downright awesome. My favorite cyberpunk spoof is probably the Terminatrix (I still need to do some screencaps for that movie). However, in many other cases, soft core porn productions will try to leverage off a big title, but in fact really doesn’t have much of anything to do with it. Sexual Matrix fits this pattern, having nothing whatsoever to do with the Matrix movies, or much of anything else cyberpunk other than VR love scenes.

The Story: Sexual Matrix is pretty straightforward – a professor looks to get funding to build a prototype for helping people act out their fantasies in VR. To get started, he cons a local university into thinking he has funding lined up from a major corporation. The university, in their infinite wisdom doesn’t check his lie, and instead sends an ultra-hawt grad student to “oversee” his research. For some reason, the prototype appears already built, so no real work is necessary, other than a few twists of knobs on the Star Trek looking light panel. From this point, most of the movie involves students and test subjects coming in for fifty bucks to try out the VR system. There’s a brief human interest story dealing with the professor and his hawt assistant, but this isn’t worth going into.

The Bottom Line: Again, nothing special here from a cyberpunk perspective. The movie itself is decent quality production. Their “fantasies” are done up in decent quality production soft-core porn, but there’s no cyberpunk aspects and only one that shows cyber-type scenery. Most are regular soft-core porn scenes. If you’re interested in a decent quality soft core porn showing lots of breasts in a façade VR setting, Sexual Matrix may be of interest. I do however deduct a quality point for the misleading cover and description.

Overview: WTF!!! That pretty much sums up Sixteen Tongues. This low-budget softcore cyberpunk porn flick has potential in some of its thoughts, but just loses out in editing, movie making basics like clear dialogue and pointless filler scenes. Low budget flicks often free the director to stop paying attention to movie conventions and potentially create something unique. But to make this pay off, some of the basics of crafting still need to be worked.

The Story: In a dystopic, seedy future, where humanity is fleeting, Sitxteen Tongues follows the plight of three emotionally scarred people (one physically scarred as well). Adrian (Crawford James) is a severely scarred police officer who seemingly died in a previous conflict, but was brought back to life, and had his damaged skin repaired by replacing it with sixteen tongues. His tongue skin, which forces him to taste his own clothes and everything he touches, has since made him go crazy – he hears voices and every now and then, and randomly goes on murderous rampages. Ginny Chin-Chin is a bio-modified assassin droid who has had sexual implants causing her to organism every time she blinks her eyes. The implants help her resist the urges to kill, but she still is driven to find her maker and rip him into shreds. Alik is a hacker extraordinaire, and is Ginny’s lover. She spends her time trying to find Ginny’s maker, but also has the ability to user her equipment to ghost-hack into other’s minds.

All three characters are emotionally traumatized. Alik and Ginny spend half the movie fighting about whether they really care for one another. Adrian is caught up in his own paranoid delusions. Through a chance encounter to get ice, Ginny and Adrian meet up. Ginny goes to his room (which has porno films playing non-stop) and finds out he’s a cop. She thinks he can help her in finding her maker, so she gives him oral favors in exchange for potentially helping her. While Ginny is having sex with Adrian, Alik hacks into Adrian’s TV signal and watches them. More arguments ensue.

Eventually things come to a head due to Adrian’s paranoid delusions. In scanning Ginny’s bar-code, he knows she is a dangerous murderer, and for some reason, begins to think Ginny is actually responsible for his murderous rampages. Confrontations occur, and things spiral out of control from there.

The Set: The entire movie takes place in a few rooms in a seedy hotel with porn posters covering all the walls. The hotels don’t look at all futuristic, aside for the credit card swap machines everywhere. They do at least look very seedy and lived in, although the random people sleeping on the floor was probably overkill. Also, we eventually learn that complete sexual deviants fill virtually every hotel room.

The Nudity: Fair warning – Ginny Chin-Chin spends well over half the movie either in the buff, in a sheer shower-stall plastic outfit, or in her fishnet get-up. She definitely looks hawt in this, whereas Alik, also nude some of the time, is made to look as nerdy as possible. In addition, we are treated to other random nude chicks we see as the movie progresses. Blood and gore are also in high supply here.

The Props: While at first glance, this movie borders on hard core by having an oral sex scene, if you look closely (or watch the extras), you can see that this is a prop. The dildo prop has various warts on it and spurts blood. Adrian’s facial skin grafts look pretty cool, and generally look like a part of him. Alik’s hacker tools, while extremely low-tech, at least pass some minor degree of believability.

The Sound and Lighting: If there’s a place that Sixteen Tongues falls flat on it’s face, it’s the sound. The actors are clearly not that experienced, and tend to mumble their lines. Worse, McCrae, the director, doesn’t seem to mind. With this combination of poor quality sound reproduction and mumbled lines, the viewer is left to decipher the dialogue in many of the scenes by watching reactions. Adrian and Alik are the worst at this. There are a few scenes of each where the view has no possibility of figuring out what is said. The lighting is also atrocious. Constantly we get over-exposed actors or actors completely blotted out by a bright light behind them.

The Bottom Line: Some of the ideas with Sixteen Tongues are pretty interesting. The hacker approach is very similar in some ways to Neuromancer in that it really doesn’t seem to recognize a modern internet, but instead goes towards this almost inaccessible cyberspace that only specialized hackers can use. Unfortunately, some ideas, including the Android assassin bit, and the briefly mentioned bacteria-taking over the body and mind bit are barely even explain. While the plot is problematic and the acting sub-par, it’s the basics – lighting, editing and sound that really doom Sixteen Tongues. Again though, Jane Chase as Ginny Chin-Chin does look pretty smokin in her various get-ups. So if you want to see a bizarre, edgy, low-budget approach to cyberpunk with lots of nudity and gross scenes sprinkled throughout, you might get some enjoyment out of this.

Overview: This is one of the many cheesy soft-core porns where a woman in a VR simulation becomes “real” and falls in love with the VR system creator. This genius game designer creates a CD-Rom sex game called “Virtual Girl,” but somehow, the hot chick in the game becomes sentient and wants to boff his brains out. She does every fantasy he desires, and things are great until the programmer realizes he might be cheating on his wife (duh!). He tries to drop her, but the virtual girl then goes all Fatal Attraction on him, and decides to get back at him. The Virtual chick magically transforms herself into a real person in the real world and sets out to destroy his marriage, ruin his job, etc. Truly, there’s nothing all that great here (such as a coherent plot, decent acting and so forth), but there’s at least decent amount of cheesy Skinemax style love vignettes.

Overview: In pursuit of me desire to see all cyberpunk-like films out, I was seduced into getting this flick. Terminatrix is basically the original terminator movie remade with in naked Japanese chicks. In Terminatrix’s vision of the future, an evil artificial intelligence has taken over the human race, and sex is fully regulated to stop overpopulation. But one woman, seeing the injustice in this system, rebels (This is the John Conner stand-in) and starts the resistance by convincing everyone to have massive orgies of their own free choosing. To stop this, the AI sends a hot Japanese cyborg chick - the Terminatrix, played by Japanese Exploitation Queen Kei Mizutani, back in time to have find the father of the chick who leads the orgy resistance. The Terminatrix has the ability to make people impotent by fucking them and breaking their dicks off (this also seems to kill them as well). To find our future heroine’s father, the Terminatrix doesn’t know his middle name, so, um, she goes through the phone book in order to kill the male Sarah Conner stand-in. In an attempt to stop this foul plot, the resistance is able to send a single hot naked human chick (Reece’s replacement - I must say, she looks a lot better than Reece!) is sent back to stop her and to save the father (Sarah Conner substitute). Our Reece substitute can tell who Terminatrix is by checking out her ass, so she is forced to go around lifting up all the women’s skirts!

Yes, this plot is as cheesy as they come, but let me be clear about this - Terminatrix is a frickin RIOT!!! Why, you ask? On an extremely twisted level, Terminatrix so closely follows the Terminator story that you’re continually busting out in laughter. On top of this, both the writing and production values are far above what you’d normally expect from a movie such as this. Literally, if you’re as familiar with that movie as I am, and have a soft spot for over-the-top cheesefests, you will LOVE this movie.

The terminatrix’s cyborg vision lines are a riot. When having sex (they don’t get explicit here, just frontal nudity) with her victems, the Terminatrix’s “terminator screen” messages show things like, “Not cuming fast enough” or “Whip him.”. When the Reece chick finds the future father, she says, “The future of humanity depends on your penis!” At least he has the good sense to shut the door on her. Also, if Terminatrix’s future prognostication is any guide, the future is tailor-made for male chauvinists. In this “dystopia,” a computer calls you to have sex with random chicks - but here’s the bad part - you have to lay down while they to all the work! Hmm…come to think of it, I can probably imagine worse computer-dominated future scenarios than the one that prompted the revolution.

Funniest scene Hands down, the bathroom cyborg self-repair scene is a riot! You know the one I’m talking about - where Arnold has to fix up his face and stuff? In this version, the Terminatrix has been shot six times in her primary weapon (her vagina), and has to repair it. While rolling her eyes, she forces six bullets to come out of her vagina (they don’t show this other than by the dropping of bullets), then she recharges herself by putting electricity through her nipples. To make final repairs, she fixes herself down below by sitting on a mechanical dildo! In watching this, all you can say is “My God, what a bizarre flick!”

It Matters Where you Purchase This: IMDB doesn’t even have a listing for Terminatrix, so one would think its not easy to come by. At the time of this review, you can purchase it for $27 bucks at Amazon. While funny, $27 bucks is about least $18-20 more than you would want to pay for something like this. But you’re in luck as Deepdvddiscount has it for $5.99! That’s about as large a jump as I’ve seen in available DVD prices.

The Bottom Line Again, I’m rather shocked that Terminatrix has relatively decent production values. The acting isn’t bad either, so much so that it’s like they made a serious attempt at this! I didn’t attempt the dubbing track (I almost never do), but I’m guessing it’s something to stear away from. All in all, Terminatrix is a very fun entry into the cyberpunk (facade) soft-core porn market. And while this clearly isn’t cyberpunk, it is definitely a cyberpunk parody (of the Terminator). Fair warning - this movie will make you laugh out loud - it will not get you in the “mood.”

And my apologies for the lack of screencaps. I honestly tried to take screencaps but it was a waste of time, as all the cool scenes had nudity in them.

Overview: If you’ve been hankerin for a nice quality ultra-surrealistic medium-core porn Japanese cyberpunk flick, then look no further than I.K.U. Japanese cyberpunk movies are all about no boundaries and I.K.U. takes this notion to heart, coming up high on the wierd shitometer scale. For the soft-core goods, you get a bit of everything here: guy-on-girl, guy-on-guy, girl-on-girl, girl-on-transgender, voyeuristic sex through a fish tank while eating sushi, sex in a spider-web…well, you get the idea. And while if what you’re looking for is naked body parts, I.K.U. definitely delivers (some cases its pixelated out, but in most cases its definitely NOT pixelated out, even when you wish it was…). Fair warning though - this is NOT a “take care of yourself” type movie, as you will spend most of the time dumbfounded while watching it. I.K.U is an EXTREMELY strange, but well-done mind-fuck, pure and simple.

I.K.U. takes place in a very strange near-future Japan and follows a day in the life of a sex-roid from the GENOM corporation, who has the ability to change her outside shape to mimic different female body types. Her job is to collect “sexual experiences” by engaging in sexual acts with various people. The experiences are collected in order to produce virtual reality-like I.K.U. chips that are then sold in vending machines. The idea is that people can buy the chips and then “wire in” on the sexual encounter. Unfortunately, a rival corporation has developed rival androids who’s job is to insert a virus into the sex-droids and steal their “experiences” so that it can make its own rival chips.

But truly, the story is not the reason you get this. In fact, the visuals distract you so much from the story that I strong recommend reading the story bits on the extras prior to watching this film. The reason you watch this is for the extremely weird but interesting set designs and cinematography. Every “vignette” offers some truly interesting cyberpunk visuals. Shocking neon is the order of the day here. Shocking “you” is the point of the film.

The Bottom Line: If you’re a “no boundaries” kind of film watcher, and are interested in something WAY off the beaten path, give I.K.U. a try. Just to be clear, I.K.U. opened at the Sundance Film Festival, so again, this is not your average skin flick - this is an artsy skin flick. And honestly, rating this film is a complete waste of time, as I really have nothing to compare it to (I’m giving it a 6, just because…).

PS - one word of caution - the guy-on-guy oral sex scene is one that is NOT pixelated out, nor is the scene with the transgender (I think that’s what he is…a guy with an “in-between” part). Both only last for a few seconds or two, but are QUITE graphic if you get my drift…

Again, I could go on, but truly, commentary is a waste of time on a flick like this. What you need to evaluate whether you want to see this or not are screen captures. On to Page 2 of this review if you are so inclined. Fair warning - while I worked hard not to show any body parts, page 2 is clearly meant for adults.

Page 2: Screencaps–>>