MPAA wants Obama to hand the Internet to them

Source: Electronic Frontier Foundation, Change.gov

The quest for Internet domination continues. With king W on his way out next month (hopefully sooner), the media fascists are now looking to kiss Barack Obama’s ass in an obvious attempt to seize control of the Internet. Fortunately, Obama’s Change.gov site put the gestapo’s agenda (the “MPAA’s Key International Trade Issues”) online for all to see, and the EFF translated the political-lobbyist-speak into plain English.

The MPAA has “issues.” To solve these “issues,” the MPAA wants to be able to do packet sniffing and filtering for censorship operations, implement a “three strikes” punishment system for file sharers, and force foreign governments to do similar stuff.

Blah blah blah blah blah piracy blah blah blah blah blah blah lost revenues blah blah blah blah blah blah CEO’s need ivory ass-scratchers blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah control Internet blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah free speech is anti-American blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah censorship good blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah profit margins blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah proactively leverage synergies blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blllllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………………….

Seriously, does anyone give a fuck about the media gestapo anymore? They’ve been spewing the same shit about “piracy” and “lost revenues” out of their mouths for the past couple of years now. Their solution? Persecute people without the means to defend themselves in court. God forbid the MPAA goes after some high-ranking congressperson’s kid who’s been openly sharing the latest Jonas Brothers CD on Bittorrent. If they want to show how serious they are about stopping piracy, they need to grow testicles and start with the Somali pirates.

Normally, I wouldn’t consider doing this, but here’s a little ditty that best expresses what I’m feeling about the media gestapo. Soon to be reviewed for CPR, this is the Futuristic Sex Robotz with Fuck The MPAA. Feel free to sing along: