Teknolust - Not Cyberpunk

Overview: Yet another completely misleading title, marketing campaign and DVD cover. Look at this title, cover, and then read this blurb on the back of the DVD:

Rosetta’s lab holds more than the usual beakers and Bunsen burners. This bio-geneticist isn’t just creating the perfect woman: she’s creating three of them.

Rosetta has downloaded her own DNA into the Self Replicating Automatons – S.R.A.s that look human, but were bred as intelligent machines. But in order to survive, they need sustenance of male Y chromo, found only in sperm. Now the cyborgs have to get out into the world and feed.

Who knew the future would be this sexy?

Now reading this, you’d have to be thinking, “Soft – core cyber – porn flick, good for a bunch of guys on a Friday night!” Um, no. This movie is about the farthest thing from this description. Teknolust is actually a chick flick. Seriously. So in marketing it as they have, the distributor has ensured that NOBODY who actually might be interested in watching this movie will ever see it. But to reiterate:

• Teknolust has no lust in it, or nudity for that matter
• Teknolust has no robots, as depicted on the cover
• Teknolust has no real science aspect to it. It has fantasy science.
• Teknolust doesn’t take place in the future

The Actual Story: Teknolust is about this nerdy, introverted genetics scientist who, because her entire family died in an accident when she was young, has decided to replicate herself into artificial life-forms who live inside her microwave (actually a computer screen). These digital lifeforms somehow are able enter into the real world by a magical doorway – one of which does this to go get sperm by seducing people into quick blow-jobs (they don’t show anything at all though – not even kissing). She takes the sperm back to the scientist (also not shown), who then makes some sort of drink out of it, which the semi-VR versions of her then drink to sustain themselves (it was never really clear what these chick’s apartment was made out of – it seemed partially virtual and partially real).

Unfortunately, in getting sperm from their hosts (through protected sex – the condom is kept to keep the sperm for later use), they somehow infect the sperm donor with a virus that ends up rendering them impotent, and leaves a red rash between their eyes. We later learn that this is in fact a random computer virus that somehow got attached to the SRA’s, which was later passed through their fingernails (I’m guessing) to the unlucky guys.

Questions You Might Ask: Why do VR beings (SRAs) need sperm for sustenance? How is it that they can go from their bizarre, color-matched virtual world to the real world, you ask? How do these SRA chicks wave their arms at a TV screen and change the entire direction of the stock market, you ask? How do computer viruses, which apparently are similar to real viruses, randomly form, you ask? And more to the point, how do computer viruses “jump hosts” to people??? All good questions, but unfortunately, Teknolust doesn’t think they are deserving of answers. This is all good natured fairy sci-fi fluff, but at least they don’t take it seriously.

The Bottom Line: In the end, Teknolust is about one of the VR chicks finding love in the real world, and the nerdy scientist finally doing the same. None of this is intended to be believed. Instead the sci-fi façade is just there to provide a strange avenue into an average chick-flick story. Why the sperm thing is here, I’ll never know. Truly, they’d have been better off using something like strange touches that generate electric energy or something – this would serve the same purpose, would make more sense in the context of the narrative, and would then be something that matched the intended audience. At least Tilda Swinton delivers fine performances in all four of her roles (nerdy scientist and three VR chicks). This movie probably deserves at least 5 or 6 stars just for quality, but I’m knocking some off due to the misleading nature of the marketing. Bottom line, if you like strange chick flicks, this might be your movie. Otherwise, pass.